


All We Have Is Now

by orphan_account



Category: Frühlings Erwachen | Spring Awakening - Frank Wedekind, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: ? kind of, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Comfort, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, eventual NSFW probably, they party hardy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 01:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Moritz knew how Bobby's parties were. Big, loud, grossly smelling of hormonal teenagers itching to get it on. Moritz also knew how he'd end up staring down at his red solo cup in the corner of Bobby's kitchen, silently promising that this was the last time he would let Melchior slyly convince him to go to anymore dumb parties. After a few hours of desperately trying to not break down crying, he'd let Melchi drive him home. That's how it always went.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sup this exist because my melchritz playlist deserved its own fic.

"Moritz, think about it!" Melchior pleaded. "You _always_ come to these parties with me!"

"Because you _always_ convince me, Melchi!" Moritz groaned. Sitting up in his bed, he tried to mentally prepare himself for Melchi's next move. This wasn't a fight, per-say, but it was almost like an argument. Moritz knew how people ended up exhausted after arguing with Melchior, and he wasn't willing to do that to himself on a Saturday afternoon.  

"You know you don't have to come with me if you don't want to," Melchior shrugged. Moritz watched as his best friend stood up and walked to join Moritz on his bed. "I just want you to have a good time." Melchior smiled as he put his hand on Moritz's knee. 

_Crap._

Moritz knew he failed to be ready for the way Melchior made his eyes kind and his voice soft. Every time it went the exact same way. The hand on the knee was a new move though. 

_Smart_ , Moritz thought. 

"Ugh, fine!" Moritz caved in, rushing to get off the bed. He didn't understand why, but ever since his _dreams_ , any physical contact with Melchior made his skin tingle. The dreams were sexual, he knew that much. He just couldn't connect that to Melchior, it made no sense. All Moritz knew was what Melchior told him, when it came to the dreams, at least. 

Moritz decided to open the window as a cover up for the real reason he practically jumped away from Melchior's touch. As he heard Melchior ramble about broke the education system was, he took in the sunny world outside. The warmer spring weather had finally arrived, and with it the fresh scent of flowers and sights of bright butterflies. Moritz inhaled as a breeze passed by, and turned around to look at Melchior. The way the sun hit him, making his brown hair look closer to honey. The way Melchior's face took on a scowl when he hated the reality he was talking about. The way Melchior's hands flew with exasperation. The way everything about Melchior gave Moritz a weird feeling that sat uncomfortably in his stomach.

The feeling made Moritz want to groan and scream. But also dance, or become the quietest and softest version of himself possible. None of it made sense, and everything made Moritz's head spin with confusion and misdirected frustration. 

"I mean, you spend every second studying, Moritz," Melchior saying Moritz's name snapped his attention. "We're literally studying right now! It's one of the only days you get a rest and you've got a sheet of Latin homework on in front of you. That's why I know this party's gonna be good for you." 

"If you say so, Melchi."

- 

The party was not good for Moritz. 

It started okay. Melchior and Moritz arrived at 7:30, embarrassingly early. At that point the only other people there were Ilse, Hänschen, Ernst, Wendla, and Bobby himself. To kill time, the group decided to help Bobby hide any and all breakable things small enough to move in ten minutes. Picture frames were shoved in shelves upstairs, vases stuffed in Bobby's room, Hänschen even moved a hanging mirror into the guest bedroom. Moritz thought it was weird how Ernst got just a little quieter when Bobby whistled at Hans. Wendla and Ilse gave each other glances, but that was so common Moritz didn't really make note of it. By 7:45 more people began arriving, and when the clock struck 8:00, the night was in full swing. 

It was currently 8:32, and Moritz was close to dying. Though he knew at some point Melchior would be dragged away to dance to some song, he never left him alone so early into the night. And while Melchior was jamming out to what Moritz thought was Lizzo (he only knew her since Thea showed Moritz one of her songs, and even though he never listened to any more, Moritz was just happy Thea shared _anything_ with him), Moritz was resting uncomfortably against Bobby's kitchen counter. The air was a little less stuffy in the kitchen, but it still felt like Moritz was being smothered to death. And though there were considerably less people, the scent of booze still attacked Moritz's nose. So far the party consisted of him just staring down at his dark blue sweater, the one Melchior got him for the holidays. 

"Moritz!" Looking up, he saw Otto make his way into the kitchen. "What're you doing? I need a break from... everything out there." Otto's face was flushed and his hair was a little out of place. 

Moritz sighed in relief. Otto was one of the nicer boys. "Yeah, no, me too, I needed a break from all the... dancing I was doing." Moritz cringed at his voice crack, but relaxed when he saw Otto nod. 

"Yeah, I get you," Otto patted Moritz's back. Getting touched from anyone who wasn't Melchior or Ernst was rare, but Moritz felt comforted by his friend's willingness to play along with the idea that he actually _danced_. "I was with Wendla and Melchior, til Ilse came. I swear, Ilse scares me."

" _What_!" Moritz laughed, opening his mouth in a 'o'. " _Ilse_ scares you! How? She's... Ilse!" 

"She's always bouncing around! God, I swear she's on crack sometimes!" Otto threw up his hands, stepping back from Moritz. 

A smile spread on Moritz's face as he heard what Otto thought about his second best friend. Ilse was always good at twirling around the room like some sort of flower in the wind, easing everyone up with her contagious courage. He felt a bit of pride knowing he was one of the only people who saw her when she was more calm.

"I'm going back out there buddy," Otto gave Moritz a peace sign as he turned around. 

As Moritz felt a creeping anxiety step into him, Otto whipped around. "Oh! By the way, Melchior's looking for you. I think he's out in the backyard?" 

A buzz began in Moritz's chest. Melchior was looking for him! With shaky legs he followed Otto out of the kitchen, entering the dark living room where bodies blurred into each other. Moritz glanced around for Ilse, and waved when she saw her holding hands with Wendla. 

_What good friends_ , Moritz thought. He wished he was able to hold hands with Melchior, the way Ilse and Wendla platonically could. 

As Moritz returned to his task of getting out of the house un-pushed, he thought he saw Wendla plant a kiss on Ilse. 

Unable to stop to ask about that, he trudged onward. Moritz finally made it outside, and he almost drowned himself on the fresh night air. It was so crisp, with the faint hint of only one cigarette lit. Looking in the direction of the scent, he saw Melchior smoking while sitting on an old, cushioned porch swing. Bobby's mom had been tending to the garden since the first day of spring, so the backyard was a collection two things: a sea of plants and strung up fairy lights. He heard softer music playing from the speaker, it was obviously something different than inside. There was no one else, probably because the party was still young and no one had realized that the backyard was on the market as hang out space. 

"Moritz!" Melchior smiled, his eyes illuminated by the lights. 

Moritz walked over to his friend, stepping over power cords for the speakers. "Hi, Melchi." He took a seat besides him, sinking into the big white cushions. Moritz inhaled as a felt a sense of calm wash over him.

Just as he exhaled, so did Melchior. "Want it?" Melchior passed him the cigarette. 

Moritz thought for a second, but he shook his head. He normally only smoked when he was stressed, and he recalled Wendla talking about how much she hates the smell. Moritz wouldn't want to run into Wendla at the party and have her give him a look. 

Melchior nodded understandingly, and put it out on the ashtray that sat atop the table next to the swing, "Almost finished anyway," He shrugged. 

Leaning back to look up at the stars, Moritz asked about Otto. "He said you were looking for me?"

"Yeah," Melchior nodded. "I danced with Wendla and Otto, until Ilse came over. I noticed I couldn't see you so I asked where you were when Otto left to the kitchen. I tried looking for you, I even tried upstairs, but I ended up finding Hans and Ernst making out."

"Oh my God!" Moritz gave him a look of absolute shock. He believed Ernst could do much better.

"I wasn't so surprised, but I was tired," Melchior smiled. "So I came out here for a breather. And now you're here." Melchior put his hand on Moritz's back, the same way Otto had, but it felt so different. 

So incredibly and painfully different. It was almost unbearable, the way Moritz's heart sped up. 

_Say something, idiot_. Melchi's done talking, Moritz thought. He wondered when it got harder, to feel 100% at ease with his best friend. _It was probably after we talked about my dreams, and when we-_

Melchior noticed Moritz's silence. "Moritz?" He asked, concerned and patient. 

"Hmm?" Moritz turned to face Melchior. He heard the way his throat barely managed to make a noise, and what did come out was hardly anything more than a whimper.

Melchior knitted his eyebrows together, about to ask what was wrong, when a new song began. Some indie thing Moritz had probably never heard of, as Melchior tried to avoid the "manipulating big stars, ruled by record labels." 

_Honey, you should be here, yeah_

"I love this song!" Melchior jumped up, sending the swing rocking. "Dance with me. I know you haven't done anything fun all night, it's written on your face, so-"

"Okay, Melchi! God," Moritz rolled his eyes at his best friend. Standing up, he realized the song wasn't so bad. 

_There'll come a day when I can't hold ya_  
_So won't you let me hold you now?_  
_Now?_

Moritz stared at Melchior, who first began to jump around like a goof, trying to get Moritz to laugh. Once he was rewarded with a giggle, Melchior grinned. Moritz could feel his chest swell when Melchior began to dance more genuinely. 

_There'll come a day when I can't hold ya_  
_So won't you let me hold you now?_  
_Now?_  
_There'll come a day when I can't hold ya_  
_Let me hold you now_

"Oh God," Moritz whispered in a shaky breath. His body hadn't moved at all, and his feet planted themselves on the floor. Something strange and dangerous was pulling at him, begging him to just _move_. Melchior was dancing, why couldn't he?

_There'll come a day when I can't know ya_  
_So won't you let me know you now?_  
_Now?_

"Need some help?" Melchior raised his arms suggestively. Grabbing Moritz's hands, he said, "I knew you hadn't done anything, you're so stiff, Moritz!" 

_There'll come a day when I can't know ya_  
_So won't you let me know you now?_  
_Now?_  
_There'll come a day when I can't know ya_  
_Let me know you now_

The two swayed for a second, a foot apart. Moritz thought he could be okay with this already alarming situation. Melchior was his best friend. Just his best friend. But suddenly the song slowed and Melchior drew him closer to his chest. 

_Every beat, beat of your heart_  
_Is one less I've got_  

Moritz's eyes widened. He could feel Melchior all around him, feel his arms tight around Moritz, smell the cigarette from earlier. Taking a risk, Moritz pulled back to look at Melchior's face, resting his hands where Melchior's sleeves ended and his skin began. 

Moritz was surprised to see that the charismatic, headstrong radical he had known for years looked... almost nervous. As though someone had shaken him, and he was just getting his bearings back. But still, Moritz believed that the look was astounding on Melchior, even if it rattled him a bit. Melchior's light eyes were stuck on Moritz, and it made him want to push the younger boy away. It made him want to pull him even closer. 

_Every beat, beat of your heart_  
_Is one less I've got_

"Melchior I don't know what..." Moritz spoke, his voice hoarse and hushed. He winced at the way he sounded, nervous and shaky, even more than usual. 

_Every beat, beat of your heart_  
_Is one less I've got_

"Me neither," Melchior gulped. Moritz knew he was lying. 

_Honey, you should be here, here, but you're not, oh_  

"Yes you do. Tell me what's going on, Melchi," Moritz's eyes searched Melchior's face for clues. He knew he was a little slow on things, but he wanted to know what was going on. What was the shift in the air?

_There'll come a day when it's all over_  
_Baby, all we have is now, now_  
_There'll come a day when it's all over_  
_Baby, all we have is now, now_  
_There'll come a day when it's all over_  
_All we have is now_  

Melchior was uncharacteristically silent. Moritz almost thought the conversation was over before it began, and he prepared to fight of tears he didn't understand, but then he heard Melchior sing along. 

_Every beat, beat of your heart_  
_Is one less I've got_  
_Every beat, beat of your heart_  
_Is one less I've got_  
_Every beat, beat of your heart_  
_Is one less I've got_  

Moritz could feel the frustration that was bubbling beneath the surface fade away. Melchior knew Moritz loved his singing, and the fact that he would use that against Moritz now was just cruel. 

_Honey, you should be_  
_Honey, you should be_  
_Baby, you should be_  
_Honey, you should be here, but you're not_  

Moritz let Melchior pull him close to his chest again. Even though the singer was practically shouting, Melchior's voice was soft. Moritz could hear the beating of Melchior's heart, and he almost wanted to laugh. He thought it was so cliche, to listen to the _thump thump_ of just a muscle. Moritz was no genius, but knew that the heart was just pumping blood. There was nothing sweet about it. 

_Honey you should be here, here but you're not_  

The two boys stayed in each other's arms for what felt like hours. 

"Moritz do you..." Melchior whispered above him. 

"Hm?" There was that whimper again. 

"This feels good. You, here. I feel good." 

"I-"

"Do you feel it too? This, right here. My God, Moritz."

"Since when do you believe in God?"

"Oh haha, very funny."

"Thanks."

"Do you feel it?"

"Yes," It came out as a high creak, like an old house being awoken after years of no one stepping inside. 

And with that, Melchior pulled away. And Moritz didn't understand the lips on his until he was stepping back. 

"Moritz?"

"Melchi, I...I- I have to go!" 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is short i wanted to work on moritz's P.O.V so i ended this one quick!

"Moritz - wait!" Melchior pleaded, but Moritz had already dashed inside the house. 

 

Melchior looked around, helplessly. Had it been anyone else, he would have chased after them. Melchior wasn't one to shy away from a conversation that should be had. But with Moritz...

He was his best friend. The only person who managed to put up with Melchior when he acted like too much of a know it all. Melchior knew it was silly to think - or to even feel - like Moritz was his everything, but that's how he felt. It was more than how he felt, it was what he knew. 

Biting his lip, still torn between indecision, he decided to sit back on the porch swing. The air that had been inviting and refreshing now felt cold and taunting. The only thing providing him comfort was remembering how _warm_ Moritz felt. His lips, his body in Melchior's arms, his breath. Melchior closed his eyes to replay the image of Moritz's face so close to his, it took up all of the world. In that moment nothing had existed besides the two, and the thought made Melchior smile. 

Willing himself to stand up, Melchior entered the house again. Stepping right into the living room, he maneuvered around the blob of bodies moving to the rhythm of the music playing. He marveled at how Bobby Maler managed to get this many hormonal teenagers in one spot. 

And as if summoned by the words _hormonal teenagers_ , Melchior caught sight of Hanschen and Ernst in the crowd. Ernst looked noticeably disheveled, his hair mussed up and his cheeks a fading pink. Hanschen's usually smug vibe was only mildly annoying now, and Melchior couldn't help but feel a burst of happiness knowing that his two friends were together.  Ernst had a sheepish smile on his face while he leaned on Hanschen's shoulder. The pair were laughing. Melchior figured that if there was any people who knew where Moritz was, these two would be the best bet. 

"Ernst, Hanschen!" Melchior twisted his body past other teens to get closer to the two. 

"Hi," Ernst said, moving apart from Hanschen. Melchior noticed how his friend's face fell slightly. 

"Melchior," Hanschen's brought up the pretentious persona that was on brand for him. "What brings you here?"

"We were literally the first people to be here," Melchior groaned. "You don't need to try an act aloof around me with Ernst, I swear."

"I-" Hanschen started, but Melchior stopped him. 

"And Ernst," Melchior turned to the brunette. "You're at _Bobby's_ party. There are people literally going at it in the bathroom right now. Leaning against Hanchen is nothing to be jumpy about." 

Ernst looked comforted, but of course began to speak. "Well-"

Melchior knew this would turn into a conversation, and he doubted he was up for playing therapist (not to mention, he was an awful therapist). "We'll continue this later. Have either of you seen Moritz?" 

"Can we _speak_?" Hanschen asked, rolling his eyes dramatically. Melchior let him off the hook, as he had managed to sneak his arm around Ernst's waist. 

"Yes."

"I saw him run upstairs. He was alone," Hanschen was about to make a comment, probably something mean towards Moritz, but Melchior was already moving to the stairs urgently.

Melchior felt his heart race at the thought of seeing his best friend. Since they were kids, there had been an unspoken pact that they would always be there for each other. Hardly one to doubt himself, Melchior hated the seeping regret. What if he messed everything up? What if he _hurt_ Moritz? He said he felt it too, but what if he didn't mean it? Or -

"Melchi?" Melchior heard as he crashed into another body. He stepped back to see Moritz, teary eyed. 

"Oh god, Moritz are you okay?" Melchior's hands moved to grab the older boy's shoulders, but stopped himself. 

Moritz did not look okay. His usually crazy hair looked crazier, and his cheeks were stained with tears. Melchior couldn't help but stare at Moritz's swollen lips, wondering if it was from the older boy anxiously biting on them or from Melchior himself. He hated the way his friend looked like he was on the verge of breaking. Despite the nervousness in Moritz's eyes, Melchior couldn't help but find him so beautiful. He knew he shouldn't have been thinking about that in a time like this, but Melchior felt no shame in admitting that his best friend looked mesmerizing no matter what. 

"I'm-" Moritz sniffled. "Yeah, no, perfect. Just great." There was a forced smile that neither tried to pretend was genuine. 

The two stood awkwardly in the hallway, unsure what to do. For a few moments, Melchior was certain Moritz was pretending to find the white wallpaper with light pink accents particularly interesting. 

"So we should-"

"Can we talk?"

Melchior nodded eagerly. Testing the waters, he put his hands on Moritz's shoulders. When there was no protest, he turned him towards the direction of the first bedroom they saw and stepped in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup, so at some point in this chapter Moritz is like "man i can't remember a time when Melchior hurt me" and ... i know this is canonically incorrect but i swear this'll be brought up later.
> 
> anyway happy Valentine's Day!

Moritz sat down on Bobby's bed. Just relieved to have a truly private place to talk, Moritz let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. He fiddled with the ends of his sweater, wide eyes taking in the view of the party host's room. In any other situation, Moritz would have smiled at Bobby's dinosaur bed sheets. 

Moritz looked up at Melchior instead. He felt his chest tighten at the sight of Melchior's worried eyes and careful stance, like he was afraid he'd scare Moritz away. Moritz's mind wandered for a brief second and admired how his best friend looked in his dark-blue button-down shirt, and recalled the sensation of his hands pressed against Melchior's shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Melchior blurted. Tentatively taking a seat next to Moritz, but not too close, he stared Moritz straight in the eyes. 

Moritz squirmed under Melchior's gaze. He was use to direct eye contact with him, he was _comfortable_ with him. But now he felt a need to look away, to back down, defend himself. 

Instead, Moritz shook his head and willed himself to look into Melchior's eyes. He studied Melchior's face for a second, the younger boy's features already permanently installed into his brain from all their years of friendship. It's not like Moritz had never realized how handsome Melchior was. It's not like he hadn't heard the girls whisper and agreed with them about how Melchior's face was perfect in every way, how his personality was just a the right mixture of charismatic and intellectual. But when the girls admired Melchior's thoughts, Moritz found comfort in them. He felt safe with Melchior, even now. Scared, anxious, yeah. But what was new?

"Moritz...?" Melchior scooted a little closer. "I didn't mean to scare you. But..."

Again, Moritz felt the confusion and frustration begin to mix in him. 

 _Didn't mean to scare me?_ Moritz thought. _He should have known_.

"I don't regret it."

A pause.

"Do you?"

"Melchi-," Moritz felt heat rise to his face. He didn't understand it, none of this. "No but..." 

Melchior looked at him with the most patient eyes Moritz had ever seen, and he wanted to scream. 

"Melchi I don't know what that was!" Moritz jumped up from the bed, clenching his fist. "It felt nice! I know a kiss is a big deal, I'm not an idiot." All the words that were stuck in Moritz's head began to spill out. 

"I never said-"

"Let me finish, Melchi!" Moritz whined, and too upset to cringe at his voice, he continued. "It just doesn't make sense. Why would you do that? Why _did_ you do that? In the moment it all made sense, but now I'm just... I don't know! Oh my god, I don't know!" 

Moritz felt like his knees were about to give under him. Noticing he was trembling, Melchior tried to reach out to hold Moritz's hand, but the older boy  _flinched_. 

Moritz had never seen Melchior look so shocked or ashamed in his entire life. Melchior Shame-Is-Created-To-Control-People Gabor looked... _ashamed_. In just one night, it felt like everything Moritz knew was changing. It made his head reel, and all he wanted was comfort. All he wanted was safety and a home. 

So that's why he sat back down, pressing his shoulder to Melchior's. 

"I didn't realize you... felt that way," Melchior whispered, looking straight ahead. "But I did it because I _wanted_ to. I thought you wanted it too." 

"I _did_ ," Moritz struggled, his voice barely audible. "I do." Moritz was so use to raising his voice in exasperation whenever he needed to confide in Melchior. But he never needed to explain his hurt when it was _about_ Melchior, because he can't remember a time when Melchior hurt him. 

Melchior turned to Moritz. "Then what's the problem?" 

Moritz thought. Remembering the warm, fuzzy feeling he had in his chest when Melchior kissed him, he couldn't find a word for the problem. He looked at Melchior helplessly. 

"Take your time," Melchior smiled softly, and Moritz could feel his heart pick up. 

"I just didn't know what was coming," Moritz shrugged. "I- I didn't know why, or-or what changed." 

"Changed?"

"In the moment. What made us kiss? When did we want to kiss? Why did it feel so _good_ , Melchi?" 

"That's how kisses are suppose to feel, Moritz," Melchior looked like he was holding back a laugh, and Moritz could feel irrational irritation bubble in him. 

"Don't laugh! I know kisses are suppose to feel good! That's not what I meant!" Moritz groaned, falling back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. "It's just that. It was with..." 

Melchior copied Moritz, his back now on against the mattress. "With?" He coaxed the words out of his anxious friend.

" _You_!" Moritz frowned. "You're my best friend. And it's not normal to feel that way about your best friend. And I'm not saying that because we're guys. I'm saying it because we're friends. I know liking guys is perfectly acceptable. I figured that out when we... touched."

"Touched?"

"You know what I'm talking about, don't make me say it. But you said it was okay, because we were friends and I didn't have to worry about love. You said so, but now we're..."

"Here?" Melchior offered, turning on his side to look at Moritz.

Moritz followed suit, and let his eyes take in how Melchior looked in the soft light of the lamp besides Bobby's bed. It was the only source of light in the room and illuminated all of Melchior's features. 

"Exactly." 

"I see," Melchior hummed, pursing his lips together and raising his eyebrows. He was obviously trying to act casual, like he knew everything that was going on. Like it was just the weather they were talking about, and not Moritz's distress. 

"Tell me how to fix this," Melchior's hand gripped the bed sheet. 

Moritz was taken aback. He never told Melchior how to do _anything_. Not how to do math homework, not how to pronounce words in Latin, not how to move his hand just right. And now he had to tell him how to fix _this_? 

Not wanting to let Melchior down, Moritz considered what he could do. "Tell me how you feel about me. And, uhm, tell me what that kiss meant to you." Moritz nodded, knowing that was probably the best place to start. 

"Okay," Melchior rolled on his back. "I love you, Moritz. You're my best friend, and I don't feel weird about that. Why should I?" 

Pause.

"Oh do you want an actual answer or-"

"No, it was to really drive my point home. I _know_  how I feel about you. I've known for... years, I guess. I know you're the most beautiful, astounding person on this planet. I know that in a world of horrible idiots, you're a good person."

Moritz closed his eyes, letting himself be enveloped in Melchior's words. He felt a voice in his head want to call Melchior a liar, or want to cry. But he fought against it, shaking quietly instead. 

"That kiss? It wasn't anything in the spur of the moment, Moritz." 

He heard the shuffle of fabric, and assume Melchior turned on his side again. 

"When I was 14, that's when I knew I wanted to kiss you. Wanted to hold you as more than a friend. Our kiss, earlier? It just happened, but I've wanted that for two years. Moritz, you have no idea."

Moritz slowly opened his eyes, seeing Melchior closer than ever. "I- I never thought... I never knew-" 

Moritz's words failed him. He swallowed as he slowly brought his hands to Melchior's face, holding him softly. There was a rush of adrenaline in his veins, a vivid awareness of everything and nothing in the room. Moritz bit his lips in worry, and for a brief second, thought about how he must look to Melchior. Without the music, it felt suddenly too quite. He could hear his and Melchior's breathing in unison. 

Moritz iched his face closer and closer to Melchior's until... 

contact. 

Moritz felt Melchior's lips on his own and knew his heart was probably so much louder than the music had been the first time they kissed. He could taste Melchior, feel Melchior's hands move to his messy hair. The two pressed themselves as close to each other as possible, chest to chest. Moritz shivered at the sensation of Melchior's right hand move from Moritz's hair to his shoulder, then his back, then his hip. He felt a grin form on his face, bringing the soft kiss to an end. 

The kiss felt like a safe heaven. 

The kiss felt like a home. 

Melchior felt like home. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t know which cast im basing this on so ... im trying real hard to avoid specifics (eye color, skin tone, HEIGHT). i just want everyone to be able to use their favorite cast!! please comment if you liked this chapter, sorry the wait was a bit long. 
> 
> (ilse is definitely from DWSA though im sorry)

By the time Melchior and Moritz pulled apart, the party down stairs had completely slipped from their minds. The only thing Melchior could focus on was Moritz. The two had positioned themselves so that Melchior lay flat on the bed, with the Moritz’s thighs on either side of him. Melchior had his hands placed firmly on Moritz’s waist, and Moritz’s in Melchior’s hair. 

“Melchi, the party,” Moritz breathed out once his lips were no longer touching Melchior’s. His hands remained in the younger boy’s hair, though now they were still.

Melchior hummed. He loved being able to look into Moritz’s eyes, the desperate worry that was often buzzing inside replaced by a soft, gentle look. He let his hands trail up Moritz’s spine, making note of the shiver his friend gave in response. Melchior didn’t stop until they were in Moritz’s messy locks. He gave a subtle smile.

” _Melchior_ ,” Moritz whined. “The _party_. Downstairs.” 

“Oh,” Melchior dropped his hands. “What about it?” 

Moritz laid is head on Melchior’s chest, a pout forming on his face. “It’s just - it’s - weird. Doing this -“ he waved his arms around, making Melchior laugh - “with everyone downstairs. What if someone walks in?”

”No ones going to come in, Moritz,” Melchior assured him. He put on his best _I’m-comforting-Moritz-_ voice _,_ one he had mastered over the years. 

“But what if-“

”We’re fine-“

”No, I’m _serious_ ,” Moritz sat up. “Melchi, I think you’re the smartest guy ever, I really do but...” Moritz bit his bottom lip, scrunching up his eyebrows.

Melchior saw the same worriesome look sneak itself onto Moritz’s face and automatically felt guilt. God, had the past hour not taught him anything? 

“Are you... scared?” Melchior asked, sitting up to join Moritz. Resting on his elbows, Melchior looked up at him. The question came out laced in concern. 

Sighing, Moritz shrugged. “I lo-“ his expression became more unpleasant. He scrunched up his face (an act which Melchior found adorable). “I _love_ you.” Moritz’s voice trembled. 

Melchior was taken aback. Did he know that he loved Moritz? Of course. Even when he thought he didn’t believe in love, he knew he held Moritz closer than most. And now after that phase passed? Melchior was certain that if love was a _real_ , _valid_ thing, that is what he did for Moritz. He loved him, but he didn’t expect Moritz to be so quick to say. 

“You what?” Melchior’s whispered, eyes wide. It felt like his mouth went on autopilot, speaking without permission, like a certain Gabor was famous for. 

“I love you,” Moritz repeated, biting his lip. He moved to the other side of the bed, leaving Melchior cold without him. “Is that okay?” 

Melchior laughed breathlessly, and took it back when he saw his friend’s reaction. “Moritz,” he replied softly. “Of course it’s okay.” Melchior moved closer, and slowly took Moritz’s hand in his own. 

Melchior swore that the smile on Moritz’s face was pure gold. Someone could have offered him all the world’s secrets in return for the gleaming grin in front of him, and Melchior would deny them without hesitation. The way the older boy looked made Melchior believe there was nothing more sacred or beautiful in the universe. 

“We don’t have to kiss with the party going on if it makes you uncomfortable,” Melchior gave Moritz’s hand a reassuring squeeze. Even if he did want to make out with Moritz forever, Melchior could wait. 

Moritz’s arms came around Melchior, and the two fell back on the bed again. “Honestly? I just want to sleep right now. This feels like heaven. Being here - with you - I mean.” His voice was barely audible, and it made Melchior feel like he was in on a secret. 

“Well-“

When the door burst open, the two jumped up from total shock. Moritz nearly fell off the queen sized mattress, while Melchior half stood on the bed, awkwardly squatting.

“Oh wow,” Ernst exclaimed, just a surprised as the two boys. 

“Oh my _God_ ,” Hanschen deadpanned, his fingers still gripping the door handle. It looked like it took a second for his brain to process the scene in front of him, and when he realized what had been going on, a laugh escaped his lips. 

Melchior and Moritz shared a helpless look.

”Care to explain?” Hanschen leaned against the wall, a smug look on his face.

Ernst seemed to gather himself since his first remark, his face almost as red as Melchior’s and Moritz’s. “Maybe we should-“ He moved to leave, but spun on his heels after a step. 

“ _Really_?” Melchior rolled his eyes when he saw Ernst mouth to Moritz.

The action made Hanschen snort and put his hand on his ‘ _friend’s_ ’ waist. “As much as I’d love to make fun of you both,” he started. “I have more important things to do.” Smiling at Ernst, he dragged the other boy out of the room.

Popping his head back in, Hanschen whispered. “Learn to lock a door. I mean...” he trailed off, feigning friendliness as he closed the door.

Once again, Moritz and Melchior were left alone. 

There was a few seconds of unbroken, awkwardly silence. 

“Wanna come to my place? Sleep over?”

”Yes please.” 


End file.
